Haters in the House IV : Stray-Rod

There’s no Yankee whom we in the Nation love to hate more than A-Rod. And why not? A-Rod rarely disappoints. Who was it started things with Varitek in the famous brawl game of July 2004, when the Sox stormed back and finally won on Bill Mueller’s walk-off home run? The game that everyone looked back on as the season’s turning point. The game that ignited the Sox furious run through August and September, and served as foreshadowing of the drama in Games Four and Five. And who was it slapped the ball from Bronson’s mitt in Game Six of the ALCS, killing the Yankees' last chance to turn that series around? Looking mystified and embarrassed at the same time, as the umps called him out and waved off Jeter’s run.

Inexplicably, I almost felt sorry for A-Rod last year, as he moped his way through the 2006 season, regularly booed by New York’s blue collar fans, who perhaps resented his earning $25million, yet never delivering in the clutch. Not only that, but he was ridiculed in the internet masterpiece, Chokeback Yankees, which won best picture at the Nation’s own academy awards – a dramatic depiction of the falling out between A-Rod and Jeter once Damon arrived in the Bronx. You can apparently still find it on You-tube.

But any chance that anyone would feel sorry for this guy has evaporated in the events of the last couple weeks. First there was the thing where he elbowed Pedroia in the balls, after being forced at second. Sure, everyone is allowed to break up the double play, and a hard slide is part of the game. But why is it that A-Rod always plays the bitch when one of these things happens? What other player elbows someone in the balls? Then last night in Toronto, he apparently yells at the Jays’ third baseman as he’s settling under a pop-up, causing the ball to fall in, and allowing the Yankees to score three more runs that inning. Now everyone in Toronto hates on A-Rod; it’s not just something with the Nation.

And then, to cap off the evening’s festivities, A-Rod gets himself photographed with some busty blond, leaving a strip club, and then trying to sneak her into his hotel. I like that. The guy makes $25 million a year, and he takes his gal to a strip club. Is that class or what? Of course, the tabloids are all in a lather because the blond is not A-Rod’s wife. She’s apparently home with their kid. And then, to make matters more interesting, sources have claimed to have seen A-Rod and the blond cavorting in numerous other cities. The papers are calling him stray-Rod. I just think he’s just a bitch. I know he’s a talented guy, but when has he ever delivered when it really meant something? And before all you Yankee lovers come to his defense, answer me this: when did Jeter ever slap the ball out of someone’s glove? Or shout at a fielder who was trying to make a play? Other fans may resent Jeter, because he’s beaten their team so often, but still, everyone respects Jeter. Love him or hate him, he still earns respect. A-Rod, by contrast, just earns everyone’s contempt. Deservedly. E-Rod; A-Fraud; Stray-Rod; whatever. The guy has as many nicknames as home runs. In the end, he'll be remembered more for these names, and the fiascos that gave him these names, than for any numbers he manages to put up over his career.