Haters in the House - The Sequel
My friend Danny, after reading this blog, explained to me his theory that Yankee haters, especially Sox fans who are Yankee haters (a redundancy for sure), are really envious of the Yankees, and secretly want to be Yankee fans. The most championships; the greatest franchise in sports history, who wouldn’t want to be a Yankee fan? I think the correct word here is delusional, but before being dismissive of this theory, I wanted to give it a closer look.
Danny conceded that there were some RedSox fans who had it in their blood. Their fathers and grandfathers, uncles, cousins, nephews and even nieces had all been Sox fans. Johnny Pesky, Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski; old school RedSox fans. Presumably, these folks don’t want to be Yankee fans, consciously or not. Why would they? But as for the Johnny-come-lately Yankee haters, Danny posits that they should simply come out of the closet, and declare their pinstripe loyalty. He thinks these folks have jumped on the Yankee hating bandwagon. (I did point out that there is a long and storied history of Yankee hating, much of it predating the Sox rivalry. In the old days, when the Dodgers and Giants played in New York, there were as many Yankee haters as fans in the five boroughs, perhaps more.)
Well, the first problem with Danny's theory is that there are no barriers to admission for Yankee fans. It’s like buying a ticket to a ballgame. You just get in line, fork over your money, and they let you in the stadium. There is no loyalty oath; you don’t have to take a test; you don’t even have to know that monument park was once in the field of play, way out there in left center field, about 450 feet from home plate, where many a right-handed home run dropped into an outfielder’s glove. All you need is to lack a moral compass. And unlike the stadium, which can fill up, can sell out, the fan club is never sold out. There’s always room for someone new.
A related problem with this theory is that it runs contrary to the current free-market model for baseball, which of course was pioneered by the Yankees. Today, anyone can be a Yankee. Anyone whose agent can persuade Cashman or Steinbrenner to part with, say fifteen or twenty million dollars a year, can come to the Bronx, wear the Yankee uniform, and hope that Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter can win a ring for them. And along the same lines, any fan who so desires, can buy an ersatz Yankee jersey, can watch the YES channel, and can even buy tickets to most of the regular season games. So what’s keeping these latent Yankee fans from declaring their purported loyalty?
In point of fact, if there’s a bandwagon effect, it’s just as likely that the bandwagon fans climbed aboard with the Yankees in the nineties, when they won all those championships. Some people always pull for the front-runner. Just like there were millions of Bulls fans in Michael’s era; just as Tiger has a devoted following who can’t name five other players on the tour; the Yankees are popular in part because they are so successful. I could be more open to this cockamamie theory if the Yankees had gone 86 years between championships, instead of perennially contending.
In the final analysis, it’s a free country. People are free to love or hate the Yankees or the Red Sox. And even in the heart of RedSox nation, no one is compelled to root for the Sox; no one is prevented from wearing an A-Rod T. It’s just that no one in his right mind would ever think of doing that.
Danny conceded that there were some RedSox fans who had it in their blood. Their fathers and grandfathers, uncles, cousins, nephews and even nieces had all been Sox fans. Johnny Pesky, Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski; old school RedSox fans. Presumably, these folks don’t want to be Yankee fans, consciously or not. Why would they? But as for the Johnny-come-lately Yankee haters, Danny posits that they should simply come out of the closet, and declare their pinstripe loyalty. He thinks these folks have jumped on the Yankee hating bandwagon. (I did point out that there is a long and storied history of Yankee hating, much of it predating the Sox rivalry. In the old days, when the Dodgers and Giants played in New York, there were as many Yankee haters as fans in the five boroughs, perhaps more.)
Well, the first problem with Danny's theory is that there are no barriers to admission for Yankee fans. It’s like buying a ticket to a ballgame. You just get in line, fork over your money, and they let you in the stadium. There is no loyalty oath; you don’t have to take a test; you don’t even have to know that monument park was once in the field of play, way out there in left center field, about 450 feet from home plate, where many a right-handed home run dropped into an outfielder’s glove. All you need is to lack a moral compass. And unlike the stadium, which can fill up, can sell out, the fan club is never sold out. There’s always room for someone new.
A related problem with this theory is that it runs contrary to the current free-market model for baseball, which of course was pioneered by the Yankees. Today, anyone can be a Yankee. Anyone whose agent can persuade Cashman or Steinbrenner to part with, say fifteen or twenty million dollars a year, can come to the Bronx, wear the Yankee uniform, and hope that Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter can win a ring for them. And along the same lines, any fan who so desires, can buy an ersatz Yankee jersey, can watch the YES channel, and can even buy tickets to most of the regular season games. So what’s keeping these latent Yankee fans from declaring their purported loyalty?
In point of fact, if there’s a bandwagon effect, it’s just as likely that the bandwagon fans climbed aboard with the Yankees in the nineties, when they won all those championships. Some people always pull for the front-runner. Just like there were millions of Bulls fans in Michael’s era; just as Tiger has a devoted following who can’t name five other players on the tour; the Yankees are popular in part because they are so successful. I could be more open to this cockamamie theory if the Yankees had gone 86 years between championships, instead of perennially contending.
In the final analysis, it’s a free country. People are free to love or hate the Yankees or the Red Sox. And even in the heart of RedSox nation, no one is compelled to root for the Sox; no one is prevented from wearing an A-Rod T. It’s just that no one in his right mind would ever think of doing that.
posted by pops | 8:45 PM
2 Comments:
Alas I am forced from my self imposed silence. I have read of our hosts 3 obvious passions (dare I suggest a 4th?), Lust,Gluttony,Pride and lets slip Envy into the mix. Of the first 2 I share in the glory. The heavenly elixir of the Scot's and the artful pleasures of the palate. It is, however, of the latter 2 I come to speak.
So first a matter of clarity. Typical of the character, or lack there of, found in the Yankee Hater is distortion and misdirection. Never would I presume that everyone or even anyone would want to be a Yankee fan. To the contrary, I hold in high regard any fan of any team in any sport who has by intellect, emotion or DNA found themselves devotees of a particular franchise. Loyalty is a quality to glorify. It is with great warmth and no small amount of admiration I watch say...a Cincinnati Reds fan don his green cap with the stylized C on its face. My heart broke for the Expo fan who loyally sat in an empty stadium daring to dream.
There, having dispatched as untrue the very premise to our hosts diatribe and I would hope put his feet to the fire of accurate quotation, allow me the indulgence of putting on record my position regarding Yankee Haters (YH).
A YH is by definition different from someone who simply hates the Yankees. He is a non-division wanna be who defines himself not by the team he loves with a passion but by the envy that has fermented to hatred for the Yanks. Every argument regarding the game is framed in context of the Yankees. A Sox fan should hate a division rival. Should hate a team whose front office has outsmarted his organization for decades and certainly hate his rival who has won more championships than any sport franchise in history (oops, so tell me Dr. F how do you define penis envy? Is my bat bigger than yours?) So a Sox fan does hate the Yankees but is not by necessity a YH.
So why join the Nation? (Actually here David's argument for membership finally makes sense)
The reason is these poor leprous souls have found the one place in which hatred for the Yanks has been raised to art. No one on earth does it better. The bandwagon (which was of whom I spoke originally to our host) of fresh sperm in the Red Sox Nation has zero to do with the Red Sox and everything to do with YH. Not only do they envy the Yanks but they envy the true Sox fan (now there is a miserable soul).
The ever growing volume of this envy of which I speak is expressed best by the Nation's chant "Yankees Suck!" I was startled into this epiphany when I heard the chant during games between the Sox and teams OTHER THAN the Yanks. The obsession is so deep Dr. F's still laughing.
We Yankee fans could never imagine defining our raspberries through the utterance of a rivals name. Though we can enjoy our heartfelt hatred of the Red Sox at least our motives are pure.
This season has been painful to date. We still EXPECT to win - that is in our DNA. The YH, while reveling in our failures, still EXPECTS to lose. Regardless of the outcome on the field of battle in this regard we still reign supreme.
One final thought. To all the HY on behalf of The Boss, Thank You. Our cup runneth over. The beauty of the world famous interlocking NY is a copy write for which Yankee Hater memorabilia pay dearly. The ubiquitous paraphernalia; T-Shirts, caps,bumper stickers of all variety displaying the graphic of the circle with a slash through the NY and every wonderful permutation of that envy will pay for every one of the Rockets' pitches.
Danny
Danny,
Thanks for commenting. I'll be back to you soon. In the meantime, you need a handle. A name. A nom de plume. A blogosphere identity.
David
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